Super Fun Pak Mini Essays!

Super Fun Pak Mini Essays!

Four short, sharp takes — plus a special appearance by a guest poet.

Nov 6, 2025

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9 min read

There are things you will never understand

There are things you will never understand

But you can still use your stupid brain to try!

Nov 3, 2025

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11 min read

Notes on a very Trying! year

Notes on a very Trying! year

Hundreds of thousands of words later, what's to become of this newsletter?

Oct 31, 2025

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7 min read

Writing

+1

Cartoons are better than people

Cartoons are better than people

For me, live-action movies and TV will always be secondary.

Oct 29, 2025

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14 min read

Squawk, memory!

Travel

+1

Squawk, memory!

My recollection of the past is crisp but scattered. Will a pile of ancient photos make sense of it all?

Sep 12, 2025

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10 min read

If I had a gun

Violence

If I had a gun

A deadly serious thought experiment.

Jul 29, 2025

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10 min read

Subscribe to Trying! already!

These are good

So you should read them

I'm driving me crazy!

I'm driving me crazy!

My brain makes it hard to live in the moment, but there's one place I've found I can truly be present: the highway.

Sep 3, 2025

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7 min read

Travel

+1

The best songs called 'Sisyphus,' ranked

The best songs called 'Sisyphus,' ranked

The original rock-and-roller has inspired dozens of tunes, but which are worth listening to?

Aug 25, 2025

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15 min read

The word we can't say but need to scream

The word we can't say but need to scream

It's vulgar. It's offensive. But it's the only term that truly describes our moment.

Aug 26, 2025

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11 min read

Language

+1

A cheese sandwich for the children

A cheese sandwich for the children

We're all antisemites now — even you, even me.

Aug 8, 2025

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18 min read

Unpopular Culture

Fashion!

Why I wear women's clothing

Why I wear women's clothing

I'm not a lumberjack, but I'm okay.

Jul 14, 2025

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11 min read

I like striped shirts and I cannot lie

I like striped shirts and I cannot lie

Certain patterns catch the eye and trap the brain in ways no other brother can deny.

May 22, 2025

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10 min read

Food Food Food Doof Food

Latest Attempts

Thomas Pynchon and me

His writing shaped my life, and he's now at a literary and cultural apex. But is the mysterious postmodernist's work still any good?

Oct 23, 2025

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18 min read

Thomas Pynchon and me

An idle waste of your precious time

Don't worry, death isn't coming for you quite yet.

Oct 14, 2025

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9 min read

An idle waste of your precious time

When the enemy is boring AF

Yawning reflections of a radical left Democrat.

Oct 3, 2025

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12 min read

When the enemy is boring AF

This is not a travel story

I built my career on artful narratives of adventure. But was I lying to my readers — and to myself?

Oct 2, 2025

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14 min read

This is not a travel story

I spy with my little eye

Does "When in doubt, cut it out" apply to body parts? Asking for, uh, a friend.

Sep 19, 2025

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10 min read

I spy with my little eye

I ate a bad sandwich

And it taught me the meaning of life.

Sep 16, 2025

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9 min read

I ate a bad sandwich

Squawk, memory!

My recollection of the past is crisp but scattered. Will a pile of ancient photos make sense of it all?

Sep 12, 2025

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10 min read

Squawk, memory!

I am still upset about the aurochs

The wild ancestor of today's cattle went extinct in 1627. But, uh, like, what if it didn't?

Sep 5, 2025

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12 min read

I am still upset about the aurochs

I'm driving me crazy!

My brain makes it hard to live in the moment, but there's one place I've found I can truly be present: the highway.

Sep 3, 2025

•

7 min read

I'm driving me crazy!

The word we can't say but need to scream

It's vulgar. It's offensive. But it's the only term that truly describes our moment.

Aug 26, 2025

•

11 min read

The word we can't say but need to scream

The best songs called 'Sisyphus,' ranked

The original rock-and-roller has inspired dozens of tunes, but which are worth listening to?

Aug 25, 2025

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15 min read

The best songs called 'Sisyphus,' ranked

These things are all terrible! 🤪

I've been saving up some choice complaints — just for you, dear reader.

Aug 14, 2025

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9 min read

These things are all terrible! 🤪

And another thing!

Why it's so impossible to talk about the subjects that matter.

Aug 11, 2025

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8 min read

And another thing!

A cheese sandwich for the children

We're all antisemites now — even you, even me.

Aug 8, 2025

•

18 min read

A cheese sandwich for the children

Leaves of Gross

'I hate poetry,' I used to say, half joking and half serious. But which half was which?

Aug 6, 2025

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13 min read

Leaves of Gross

How do you catastrophize?

The end is nigh, dude, but is that any reason to freak out?

Aug 5, 2025

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7 min read

How do you catastrophize?

If I had a gun

A deadly serious thought experiment.

Jul 29, 2025

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10 min read

If I had a gun

Gimme, gimme, gimme

What do you get for the man who has everything?

Jul 28, 2025

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6 min read

Gimme, gimme, gimme

Seen one Taj, seen Mahal

How one terrible book of puns opened my eyes to the potential of language.

Jul 24, 2025

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11 min read

Seen one Taj, seen Mahal

Memories of Bon Appétit, 2012–2014

What I learned (or didn't) at Condé Nast.

Jul 17, 2025

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23 min read

Memories of Bon Appétit, 2012–2014

Why I wear women's clothing

I'm not a lumberjack, but I'm okay.

Jul 14, 2025

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11 min read

Why I wear women's clothing

Sludge or slop? It's your choice!

Just kidding: You don't have a say in the matter.

Jul 3, 2025

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11 min read

Sludge or slop? It's your choice!

Pride is nothing compared with shame

An argument for the most uncomfortable emotion.

Jul 1, 2025

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9 min read

Pride is nothing compared with shame

What 10 miles means

I keep running in search of an answer. I might even find it.

Jun 25, 2025

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9 min read

What 10 miles means

The restaurant that made me

A single visit 25 years ago clarified my approach to food.

Jun 19, 2025

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11 min read

The restaurant that made me

I know why the blue jay screams

You ever tap on the glass of the gorilla enclosure at the zoo? Yeah, it's a little like that.

Jun 17, 2025

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9 min read

I know why the blue jay screams

Violence is always an option

I've always thought of it as a last resort—but how do we know when we've reached the end? And honestly, why wait?

Jun 12, 2025

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9 min read

Violence is always an option

I can solve the Cuomo problem

Just give me 5 minutes with the former governor.

Jun 10, 2025

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10 min read

I can solve the Cuomo problem

I've been running for 26 years now

Here's what I wish I knew... let's say... 6 years ago? Sure, 6 years ago.

Jun 5, 2025

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12 min read

I've been running for 26 years now

Sufferin' succotash!

Some people think humanity deserves extinction. I think we've earned a fate worse than death.

Jun 3, 2025

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12 min read

Sufferin' succotash!

Q was the question she asked

In the mid-1990s, Phuong Anh Nguyen made Q Bar the most important bar in Vietnam—and possibly the world.

May 29, 2025

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18 min read

Q was the question she asked

I just can't watch Stanley Tucci go to Italy

Celebrity travel shows are the worst, even when you love the celebrity. But they don't have to be bad!

May 28, 2025

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9 min read

I just can't watch Stanley Tucci go to Italy

We all have a place on the Wheel of Fate

A Q&A with 'Andor' writer Tom Bissell on narrative structure, quick deaths, and getting T-boned by Star Wars history.

May 27, 2025

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24 min read

We all have a place on the Wheel of Fate

I like striped shirts and I cannot lie

Certain patterns catch the eye and trap the brain in ways no other brother can deny.

May 22, 2025

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10 min read

I like striped shirts and I cannot lie

You don’t need heirloom tomatoes

A Tuesday special: Five mini-essays in one newsletter!

May 20, 2025

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7 min read

You don’t need heirloom tomatoes

Please don't call this a blog

What am I even trying to do here?

May 13, 2025

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8 min read

Please don't call this a blog

Is reality a rhetorical question?

It takes a leap of faith to connect language and experience—and sometimes we land in the abyss.

May 8, 2025

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12 min read

Is reality a rhetorical question?

I went to a concert

This musician not only changed my life—she defined it.

May 6, 2025

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15 min read

I went to a concert

The emperor has no pose

Fascist autocracies are bad enough, and the worst have no ambition but eternal control.

May 5, 2025

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9 min read

The emperor has no pose

Well, I do declare!

I've always fought for my own independence, but is that just a romantic myth?

May 2, 2025

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8 min read

Well, I do declare!

50 years ago, my fate was sealed

How the end of the Vietnam War set the course of my life.

Apr 30, 2025

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8 min read

50 years ago, my fate was sealed

The internet is tits

Can't believe I'm saying this, but: Don't show me your ( . 人 . )

Apr 29, 2025

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10 min read

The internet is tits

What's the best way to explore a city?

As a travel writer and a New Yorker, I'm supposed to say "on foot." I'm starting to think that's wrong.

Apr 24, 2025

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10 min read

What's the best way to explore a city?

They want to make you angry

I think you know precisely who I mean. Well, here's how to take their power away—and claim it for yourself.

Apr 22, 2025

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7 min read

They want to make you angry

I just solved college admissions

It's called: Bring back the draft! (No, not the way you think.)

Apr 17, 2025

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9 min read

I just solved college admissions

Do we still need superheroes?

Tales of the ultra-powerful may have run their course, leaving us to confront the challenge of surviving a multiverse we cannot transcend.

Apr 14, 2025

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15 min read

Do we still need superheroes?

Greed is not good

Avarice is at the root of today's evils—can we find a way out?

Apr 10, 2025

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9 min read

Greed is not good

How I traveled 20 years ago

Please enjoy this email I sent to everyone, written on a flight to Hong Kong, back in 2005.

Apr 7, 2025

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5 min read

How I traveled 20 years ago

Under my thumbnail

How I escaped from AI imagery, discovered public domain art, and rebelled against the tyranny of the 1200x630 image.

Apr 3, 2025

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14 min read

Under my thumbnail

Dry chicken breasts are a myth

Trigger warning: I am about to use the word "spatchcock."

Apr 2, 2025

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12 min read

Dry chicken breasts are a myth

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